First off, I apologize for how awful this recipe looks. It’s damn near impossible to photograph. But because I really wanted to share this recipe, I just gave up trying to make it look presentable and took a quick snapshot of it directly from my lunch container. I’m sure if I took the time to stage it properly, I might have been able to improve it slightly, but the weather was gorgeous on Sunday and my neighbor invited us over to his pool, and well, priorities.

I should warn you that this soup’s flavor is based on a Cincinnati chili, not the traditional coney sauce, although they’re fairly close. For those of you who have never heard of Cincinnati chili, the first thing I should probably tell you is that it bears only the slightest resemblance to any sort of chili you might be used to. It’s more of a meat sauce than anything else. They serve it over spaghetti, usually, or on hot dogs. If you put cheddar cheese on top, it’s called a 3-way. Add beans or onions, it’s a 4-way. Add all of the above, and it’s a 5-way. Since we don’t eat beans, we’re having this soup as a 4-way with a cheese and onion garnish.

Start off by putting your Instant Pot on the Saute setting and adding 2 tablespoons of avocado oil. Finely mince half an onion, and chop a package of 8 hot dogs into bite-sized chunks. I used Nathan’s hot dogs for this, because they’re what’s used in the classic Coney dog, and also they’re the only hot dogs my kids will eat, so they’re all I keep around. You might be able to find a lower-carb dog, and feel free to use those if you do. The Nathan’s have 1 gram of carbs per dog. Put the dogs and onions into the pot and saute until the onions turn translucent.

While that’s cooking, put together your spice blend. In a small bowl, mix together 4 tablespoons of chili powder, a tablespoon and a half of ground cumin, a rounded teaspoon of oregano, a rounded teaspoon of cinnamon, a half teaspoon of ground allspice, and a quarter teaspoon of ground cloves. Finally, stir in the “secret ingredient”, 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder. The brand I linked to, Guittard, is a very good low-carb variety, with only 1 gram of net carbs per tablespoon. Don’t put any salt and pepper in this, because you’ll want to adjust for that later. Some hot dog varieties are saltier than others, so you’ll want to taste it and season once it’s cooked.

When the onions are soft and translucent, add a tablespoon of minced garlic and saute for about a minute, then add the seasoning and toss it around to toast it for a minute or two. After that, pour in a can of tomato sauce and 4 cups of beef broth. I love these resealable containers, because if you’re making a recipe that calls for a smaller amount, you can just pop the cap back on and store it in the fridge for later. For this recipe, though, you’ll use a whole one. Stir until the spices aren’t all clumped up anymore, then bring it to a boil. Once it’s boiling, crumble in a pound and a half of 85/15 ground beef. That’s right, you don’t cook it first. It ends up with a softer texture and smaller pieces if you put it in directly. Stir it constantly to break up the chunks, and once there are no big chunks of beef left, put the lid on and switch to the Soup setting on your Instant Pot. If you’re using a different brand that doesn’t have a soup setting, set yours for 30 minutes. Once it’s done, do a manual release, then remove the lid once you can safely do so. Turn it to saute and stir in 3/4 cup of shredded cheddar until it’s melted. This should thicken the soup a bit. Add salt and pepper to taste, then serve with a garnish of chopped onion, cheddar cheese, and if you’d like, about a teaspoon of mustard. Yellow is fine, but I really like to use the classic Stadium Mustard if I have it. My macros for this recipe don’t count garnishes, so make sure you count yours separately if you’re tracking.

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At the risk of sounding like one of THOSE food blogs, this recipe reminds me of being a kid back in the 80s. For the first 11 years of my life, I grew up in a small town that only really had chain restaurants. Our fancy restaurant was a Red Lobster, no joke. So basically the only pizza place I ever went to was Pizza Hut. And every time I went, I’d get the same thing–a Personal Pan Pizza Supreme. We never got delivery, so we were always in the restaurant with the tall red plastic glasses of water with crushed ice, the tabletop arcade with Ms. Pac-Man, and the pizza would always come out piping hot. I loved the combination of flavors from the veggies, meats, and that thick greasy crust. I can’t have the crust anymore, but I can have the rest of it. And yeah, I get the deep desire to play vintage Atari games while I’m eating it, but they make emulators for those now, too.

Start off with 2 pounds of ground beef. I use 80/20 or 85/15, but if your family isn’t keto, you can use the leaner ground beef for them. Add an egg, 1/4 cup of grated parmesan, a teaspoon of Italian seasoning, a teaspoon of salt, a teaspoon of fennel seeds if you’d like it to taste more like sweet Italian sausage, 1/2 teaspoon each of garlic powder and onion powder, and black pepper to taste. Mix it together with your hands until the texture is uniform. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and make the beef mixture into six equal patties. You can see that I made mine without the fennel seeds and sprinkled them onto two of the patties, because my kids are sometimes ridiculously picky.

For the toppings to be a true Personal Pan Meatza, you’ll need sliced mushrooms, chopped onion and green pepper, pepperoni, and black olives. Obviously, your mileage may vary on what you prefer to have on your pizza, and that’s the joy of this recipe. Don’t like mushrooms? Don’t use them. Want to add anchovies? Sure, why not? Need more fat? Use actual Italian pork sausage as the base. Need less? Try ground chicken. Are you picky like my kids? Just cheese, pepperoni, and sauce. The possibilities are as endless as the menu of options at your favorite pizza place. Just make sure that if you use veggies, they’re pre-cooked and still warm, as this won’t be in the oven all that long. Saute them up while the patties are baking.

Put the untopped patties into an oven that’s been preheated to 450 degrees, and cook the patties until they’re cooked through, about 10 minutes or so. Remove from the oven. There will be a lot of accumulated grease and juices in the bottom of the pan. Either carefully drain it or do like I do and soak it up with a wad of paper towels. Top each patty with a tablespoon of pizza sauce–I like the Rao’s brand for pizza and pasta sauces, but if you can’t get that, just find the one with the fewest net carbs. Add a bit of cheese, then toppings, then more cheese. I prefer to do the pepperoni first, then the veggies, then more cheese, then the olives. I use a full 2 cups of shredded mozzarella on this. Turn on your broiler and broil the patties, watching carefully to make sure that nothing burns. When the cheese gets happy brown bubbles on it, remove it from the oven and serve.

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