Cluttered Kitchen Keto

Our garden has started producing cucumbers like nobody’s business, so expect some more cucumber recipes from me in the near future. My next attempt will be refrigerator pickles, because I need to find some way of using all this stuff. There are about 20 blossoms on that plant. I’ll probably have to give some away, but I’m going to do my best to not have to do that. I’m also pretty close to having a bumper crop of jalapeños, so be prepared for some Mexican recipes as well. And zucchini. And our tomatoes just started to turn. Yikes.

My goal here, since I was serving it alongside a Korean BBQ inspired chicken, was to make something resembling kimchi, just minus the fermentation and with a decent amount of added fat for the keto part. This one involves a couple hours of marinating, so don’t make it unless you have time for it to really soak in.

Start with two large English cucumbers. Those are the seedless variety. You can use the seeded ones, just scoop them out before proceeding. Keep the peels on, because you’ll need them to sort of hold things together. Slice them lengthwise down the middle, and then crosswise to make half-moon shaped chunks that are about 3/4 of an inch or so thick. Put them in a gallon-sized ziploc freezer bag.

Now here’s the fun part. You get to hit them. Take the flat side of a meat mallet or a rolling pin and hammer them. You don’t want to pulverize them, just break them apart a bit. That’s why you keep the skins on, because it keeps them from being a complete mess. They’ll look like this when they’re ready.

Make the marinade next. For this you’ll want 1/4 cup of rice wine vinegar, 2 tablespoons of sesame oil, 2 tablespoons of soy sauce (tamari or coconut aminos will work depending on how clean your keto is), and a tablespoon each of chili oil and sriracha. Whisk those together, and then pour it over the cucumbers. Be careful, because you may have punctured the bag they’re in. Either transfer them to a new bag or double bag it to avoid a leaky mess. Leave them outside of the fridge for two hours with the bag laying flat on the counter, flipping once. If you make this with my Korean BBQ chicken, you can put the bag back in the fridge when you start the chicken, so the cucumbers can cool a little bit. Just before serving, drain the marinade from the bag. If you’d like, sprinkle it with sesame seeds before serving.

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Ever have one of those days where you just need some comfort food, stat? I had a really rough week last week, for various reasons, so last Thursday when I was meal-planning for the upcoming week, I ended up with a fairly comfort food-heavy menu rotation. As you know if you have been following this blog, I do my meal-prep work on Sundays, so I have breakfasts and lunches to last me through the week, and I only have to worry about cooking dinners. This recipe became my lunches for the week, and so far so good on the comfort front, because I just ate it and I’m feeling pretty good today. I apologize in advance, though, for how ugly it is. Is there a word that means the opposite of photogenic? Because if so, this recipe is that. But it’s also pretty dang tasty, so you’re just gonna have to deal.

Start by melting 2 tablespoons of butter into a Dutch oven or other large, deep saucepan over medium heat. While the butter melts, chop 3 large chicken breasts (about 1.5 pounds) into bite-sized pieces and sprinkle them with a teaspoon of salt and pepper to taste. This would work great with thighs, too, if that’s what you have. Slice a small onion, French style, yielding about 3/4 cup of onion total. Look at the image below for an example of what the onion slices should look like. Put both the chicken and the onion in the stock pot with the butter and cook, stirring occasionally, until the chicken and onions brown.

Add 2 tablespoons of paprika, a teaspoon of garlic powder, and a cup of chicken stock to the pot and begin to boil. Eventually, the broth will reduce and get thick and slightly syrupy. You’ll want it to reduce by about 1/2, so there will be about a half-cup of red broth in the pan with the chicken. At this point, add a half-cup of sour cream, stir, and reduce the heat to a low simmer. Continue to cook until the sauce is as thick as you’d like it, then taste for seasoning and add more salt and pepper if you’d like.

For a side, I served it over cabbage noodles. These are super easy. Core a head of cabbage and slice it into ribbons that are about a half-inch thick and 3-4 inches long. You’re going for wide egg noodle size. Heat up 2 tablespoons of butter over medium heat in a large pan big enough to fit the entire head of cabbage. Add it in batches by covering the bottom of the pan first, then sprinkling with 1/2 teaspoon of salt and pepper, then adding more cabbage, salt, and pepper until it’s all in there, stirring in between each addition. Mine took 3 layers to get it all in there, but yours may take more depending on the surface area of your pan. Don’t use more than a teaspoon and a half of salt to start. You can always add more, but you can never take it out. Cook the cabbage, stirring frequently to make sure that all the cabbage is on the bottom of the pan at some point in time, until the thickest pieces have softened and some of the cabbage begins to brown, about 15-20 minutes. Serve with the stew on top of the cabbage, and be comforted.

Chicken Paprikash with Buttered Cabbage Noodles

Keto Hungarian comfort food at its finest.

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Prep Time 15 mins

Cook Time 30 mins

Course Main Course

Cuisine Hungarian

Servings 5

Calories 323 kcal

Ingredients

  

Chicken Paprikash

• 2 tbsp salted butter
• 1.5 lb chicken breast cut into bite-sized pieces
• 1 tsp Kosher salt plus more to taste, if necessary
• black pepper to taste
• 1 small onion French cut (see images)
• 2 tbsp paprika
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 cup chicken stock
• 1/2 cup sour cream

Buttered Cabbage Noodles

• 1 medium head cabbage sliced into ribbons
• 2 tbsp salted butter
• 1.5 tsp Kosher salt plus more to taste, if necessary
• black pepper to taste

Instructions

 

For the Chicken Paprikash

• Melt the butter in a large pot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Cut the chicken and coat it with salt and pepper. Slice the onion. Add the chicken and onion to the pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until both begin to turn golden brown.
• Add the paprika, garlic powder, and stock to the pan with the chicken, and bring to a low boil. Continue to boil until the sauce has reduced by half and begins to thicken. Add the sour cream, turn the heat to low, and simmer until the sauce thickens to your liking. Add additional salt and pepper if necessary.

For the Buttered Cabbage Noodles

• Melt the butter in a large pot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add a layer of cabbage to coat the bottom of the pot, then sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper. Repeat with the rest of the cabbage, salt, and pepper, stirring after every addition. Continue to cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the cabbage wilts and begins to brown. Add more salt and pepper if necessary.
• Macros for the entire meal (both chicken and cabbage): 323 calories, 9 grams net carbs, 35 grams protein, 14 grams fat.

Keyword cabbage, chicken, keto, low carb, low-calorie, main dish, make ahead, side dish, stew

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This is one of those moments where I’m going to go full food blog and tell a story. If you’re not here for this, feel free to click that “Jump to Recipe” button, and I promise I won’t be offended.

My name, as you might have surmised, is not Kimberly. Back when I was 18 years old, I lived in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for several months. I ended up working at a small and long since closed cafe called Wild Clover. I owe a lot to that job. I was kind of a messed up kid, and the owner, Kimberly, took me under her wing. I was a bit of a project for her. Eventually, thanks to her guidance, I ended up back in Ohio, and now I have a really good life. So I owe her a lot, and the least I can do is make sure she gets credit for this recipe, because I used to eat way too much of it while I was working there.

That cafe’s gimmick was that all the meals were low-fat, and she did a damned good job of it. She sourced her bread for her sandwiches locally, and it was freaking delicious. She made her own salad dressings, soups, everything. There was also a coffee bar and she sold natural supplements, too. It was very 90s. Obviously, I’m not restrained by having to stick to low-fat. Quite the opposite, in fact. So recreating this shrimp salad wasn’t at all difficult. It’s just a few ingredients, and you can serve it over greens, or do what I did and make a wrap out of it with a NuCo coconut wrap. If you do dirty keto, there are plenty of low-carb wraps available as well, like these tortillas with 5 net carbs per piece, or this pita bread with 4 net carbs per piece. The best part is that this is still pretty low in calories, even with the full-fat mayonnaise, so it’s perfect for the 1200 is plenty crowd.

To start the shrimp salad, get yourself a pound of cooked shrimp, tail off. You don’t need huge shrimp for this. Go cheaper and get the smaller size, because they’re easier to eat. Just don’t get those tiny salad shrimp, because the other ingredients will overwhelm them. Put the shrimp in a bowl. Add a half cup of chopped celery, a half cup of chopped red onion, and ten queen sized or 15 regular sized pimiento stuffed olives, sliced in half lengthwise. Then stir in 4 tablespoons of mayonnaise (I like avocado oil mayonnaise for clean eating purposes) and several grinds of white pepper, and you have Kimberly’s shrimp salad, or at least the best approximation I can make given my 25-year gap in memory.

Kimberly’s Southern Shrimp Salad

Like chicken salad, only with shrimp.

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Prep Time 10 mins

Course Main Course, Salad, sandwich

Servings 4

Calories 216 kcal

Ingredients

  

• 1 pound cooked shrimp see notes above
• 1/2 cup celery chopped
• 1/2 cup red onion diced
• 10 large pimiento-stuffed olives
• 4 tbsp mayonnaise
• white pepper to taste

Instructions

 

• Chop the celery and onions and cut the olives in half lengthwise.
• Remove the tails from the shrimp, if necessary, and place into a mixing bowl.
• Add the celery, onion, olives, and mayonnaise, and stir to combine. Add white pepper, stir again, and serve.
• Macros per serving: 216 calories, 2 grams net carbs, 19 grams protein, 15 grams fat.

Keyword keto, low carb, low-calorie, salad, sandwich, seafood, shrimp

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